Q&A with Shelley

What is your favorite part of yourself?
My sense of humor.

Where do you find the pictures you post?
Well, I’ve been a nut for funny pics for years. Since I was a kid even. My Dad used to have a file in his desk that he kept funny pics in – back before personal computers and internet. As soon as the internet came along, and I became a part of it, I started saving funny pictures. So, some of the pics I’ve had for years, some have been sent to me by my friends and family that know how much I love funny pictures, some I make myself or have them made, and now that I started this page, people on here send them to me too.

What is up with you misspelling words on purpose? Is it just to annoy us ‘Grammar Nazis’?
Ha! No, it’s not to annoy. It has been a ‘bit’ of mine for a long time now, to say words wrong, on purpose. Like pronouncing something phonetically that isn’t actually pronounced phonetically. So, to get that across in print, I have to spell it the way I “say” it. Otherwise you won’t know I’m saying it wrong on purpose. Sometimes, I use malapropisms. For instance, my husband thinks it’s funny that I ask him to go to the drug store to pick up my ‘subscription’ – because clearly it is ‘prescription’ – I call my blog a ‘blob’ and my husband finds it hysterical that I “hear footprints” … So sometimes, that thing you think is a typo , isn’t. Also, I often call my dad Diddy.

What is with the weird “B” swirl thing on your pictures?
Those are there just to show that we shared it. It’s not a mark of ownership. Any pictures that we own will have our web address on them.

What is your favorite animal and why?
Monkeys/Apes. I’ve loved them for as long as I could remember. I had over 200 plush monkeys when I was a kid. I don’t know why I like them, except that they’re funny. It is my DREAM to one day interact with an ape.

What would top your bucket list?
Hmmm… I’d love to play with a monkey.

Have you ever thought of becoming a stand up comedian?
No, not really. I do love to make people laugh, but I’m not comfortable doing it when I’m at the center of attention with everyone’s eyes on me. I’ve wanted, for a long time now, to have a successful blog where I could be funny….

Do you like TV? If so, what is your favorite Genre of TV?
I’ve never been one to ‘sit’ and watch TV or movies. I can’t sit still that long, unless it’s something uber special. I do enjoy listening to TV or movies while I’m crafting, drawing, or working on pictures, or puzzles. I tend to enjoy Drama over comedy, which seems weird, but Medical Dramas and Crime Dramas are my favorites. Some of my favorite TV shows, past and present, are Friends, ER, House, LOST, Law and Order, Psyche, Monk, The Big Bang Theory, That 70s Show, Seinfeld, The Monkees, Home Improvement, Ellery Queen, and Grizzly Adams.

What do you feel is your biggest accomplishment? What thing would you most like to do?
Currently, the thing I’d most like to do is finishing these questions so I can get my website up and running. What I consider my biggest accomplishment is being able to forgive those who do not deserve my forgiveness. I know that those who’ve asked me this question were looking for some award or major thing that stands out in my life, but the fact is, I’ve led a very simple life that doesn’t stand out – even within my family. So, for me, my biggest accomplishment is forgiving people and holding no grudge against those who’ve wronged me.

You have two children. Do you have a favorite child?
Yes. That kid that saw dead people in that one movie. I love him.

What was the one, stand out thing that drew you to your husband when you first met?
Well, the first time we met, and the first time he ever spoke to me, he insulted me. So, I’ll skip ahead past that a little … He laughed at my jokes. He laughed without rolling his eyes, or saying ‘That was stupid’. He could take a joke, if I were to make a joke about him. That drew me in. The thing that kept me around was his devotion to me. He was the first person who didn’t leave me when they said they wouldn’t. Actually, it’s a miracle he stuck around. He lived 45 minutes away and we’d be at my apartment and I was ready for him to go, so I’d tell him he needed to leave. He’d leave and go home. About an hour after I’d ask him to leave, I’d call him and tell him I missed him and wanted him to come back. This was before the days of cellphones in every pocket and when the price of gas was around $1. Why he didn’t leave, I don’t know, but I’m glad he didn’t because I am a better person because of him.

Where do you hide your chocolate?
Depends on what it is. Usually with the vegetables in the vegetable drawer. No one else ever opens that drawer. (I suspect my children may have submitted this question…)

If you could spend one afternoon with anyone, alive or dead, who would you pick?
Probably the alive one…

Who are your favorite actors and actresses? What is your favorite movie and why?
Well, I used to love Mel Gibson and all his movies before he went a little cuckoo. Currently, my absolute favorite is Craig Ferguson. I LOVE HIM! He laughs at himself while he’s still telling a joke, just like me, has something wise to say at the end of his jokes, just like me, and has overcome many hardships, some that were self-inflicted, just like me. I understand him… And I like Angelina Jolie – her movies – her private life is too bizarre… My favorite movie is probably a tie between Braveheart and TROY. Not sure why except that I’ve always been interested in those types of things. Historically, the time when there were Knights, and wars fought with swords and shields. I’ve always loved Greek Mythology, in particular, Achilles, because I can remember when my father told me about him and it fascinated me. My absolute most favorite children’s movie is Pete’s Dragon.

What was the most important thing that has happened in your life? Who is the most influential person in your life?
The most important thing that has happened in my life is that I was born again. The most influential person in my life would be my father, followed closely by my uncle (his brother). Dad is the source of my humor and they are both where I get a lot of my material.

If you had a pet Snuffaluffagus, would you bathe it at him or take it to a car wash?
What do you mean if? I have a self-cleaning Snuffaluffagus.

What do you want to do when you grow up?
Ha. I refuse to grow up. I just want to do this for the rest of my life. 🙂

In what areas are you talented, and what are your favorite hobbies?
Well, I wouldn’t call it talent, but I do enjoy drawing, painting and paper cutting, as seen on my crafting blog Shellz-Snipitz.

Are you a Christian? If so, what do you believe?
Yes. The Bible.

What makes you automatically tell a joke?
That list is far too long, because just about everything makes a joke pop into my head. Sometimes at the worst times too, like when it’s completely inappropriate to tell a joke, then I have to try not to laugh…

Would you rather watch a sports game or go to a symphony concert?
I’d rather watch paint dry. It’s as equally interesting as both to me, and I wouldn’t have to leave the house. I do think I’d enjoy a symphony concert, but only if I had something to fiddle with while there. I do not do well when having to sit, quietly, for long periods of time…

What is the one thing you want to leave behind most as a legacy for your friends and family?
My love of laughter. My ability to forgive.

What is the funniest thing you ever saw or did?
The funniest thing I ever saw was a duck blow bubbles out its nostrils after chewing bubblegum. The funniest thing I ever did was correct my Kindergarten teacher when she sang “Mary Had a Little Lamb”. I told her that wasn’t the right way because my Dad had taught me the right way. Which was, “Mary had a little lamb, a little pork, a little ham, ice cream topped with nuts and fizz, boy how sick our Mary is…” My Dad enjoyed warping me for a lot of years, who knew it would someday pay off? The most hilarious thing I have ever heard was my dad step on a frog. I can’t get that sound out of my head and every time I think about it, I start laughing to tears. (I mean seriously, HOW do you step on a frog??)

What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
Well, there was the time I super glued my eye shut and the time I ran up to a guy I hadn’t seen in a while, hugged him, told him how much I’d missed him and how happy I was that he was back…. only to find out it wasn’t who I thought it was… but, I think my most embarrassing moment was when I was in high school and over at a friend’s house. A few of us were meeting up there to go out cruising or whatever. I had a crush on the guy whose house we were at so I was a little nervous. Just before we left, I went to tinkle because a lot of times we ended up at a hangout in the middle of the woods known as Sydney Bourne’s. The bathroom had one of those shelf things that the legs of it stand on either side of the toilet and you can adjust the shelves. It was a plastic one, not very sturdy. Well, as I stood up I hit the handle and flushed at the same time. Somehow I managed to hit the shelf with my elbow. (I’m a walking accident, so I wasn’t surprised.) When I hit the shelf, a bottle of perfume fell off the shelf and into the toilet – that was in the middle of flushing – and went down the toilet, never to be seen again. Not by me anyway. I left and didn’t say a word, but I was mortified! The funny part comes in when we were all there a couple weeks later. The guy’s mom told us we had to use a different bathroom because the one in the hall kept backing up. Then it got worse when a month later we were all hanging out again and he started talking about how someone flushed a bottle of perfume down the toilet! (I just LOL’ed when I typed that…)

You put up with a lot of ‘haters’. How do you do it?
There are a lot of haters out there, that’s for sure, but I’ve dealt with haters my whole life. We all have. The only reason it seems different now is because it’s in public. How do I do it? I don’t. I used to let things go, ignore, move on, etc. Now, I just ban them. I don’t like to do that, I don’t like to be mean. Finally, I realized that I don’t really want that kind of person following me anyway.

Would you ever quit the page?
I started the page as a place for me to be me. If I quit the page, I couldn’t be me anymore. There would only be 2 scenarios where I would sell the page. The first would be if someone were to offer me $3 per person that has liked the page. The second would be if Facebook takes ownership of the page. (Yes, they can do that.)

How do you feel about Wednesdays?
I don’t really know. Depends on Tuesday… Check with me on Thursday.

Have any more questions for Shelley? Ask away!

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